<body> ...Lost In Beauty...
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    Thursday, January 27, 2005


    2nd day of my MC..hmmm..let's jus say its off day fer me..i din expect my flu to be so serious tt i had 2 days off frm my doc..hmm..think muz thank my doc liao..heh..yesh, bad flu, cough, alittle sorethroat and totally no strength..piangz..i walk to my family doc i oredi wanna pengsan liao..super tiring..hmmm..think i muz go find some Vit C liao..mummy wasnt happy wit my job le..keep telling me not nice to do, do until fall sick not worth it..haiz..mummy, wad to do..fer u and family, i'll hang on..tml, another day of busy paperworks..frm 9am-6pm, i sure be busy..haiz..jus hope my weekends will be a fun one..too many things in my mind..

    received the weirdest call on tuesday..and it made me super pissed..pissed until i cried..immediately called patsy and sinting..Pat, why is this happening to me again..i noe i shld wait and hear explainations..but, i dunno if i'm able to trust again..as wat i've said, i trust his words but i dun trust his actions..sheesh..wad am i supposed to do..these days haf been torturing wit all the stuffs running in my mind..i noe dere's alot of loopholes, seriously alot..but i cant imagine 1 person being so evil and so despicable lei..got ppl lidat de mehz?..the more i think no one can be so mean, the more scared i become..i dunno who shld i trust..today's thursday le..i dunno how shld i start..i dunno how shld i ask..am i the innocent one or am i the guilty one..HELP~..please..sobs..someone tell me wad is trust..no wonder its still taking such a longgggg time..am i out of ur life?..do i exist in ur life?..are we in the circle of trust?..HELP~..

    dunno y it's all starting again..argh~..stop breaking my heart..you broke it once le..stop breaking my heart again..STOP IT!!..STOP LYING TO ME..WHEN WILL YOU START TELLING ME THE TRUTH..keep telling me to trust u..i did trust u..but look wat has happened..tell me..

    damn..why why why..so many questions in my mind..argh~..someone...help~..i nid comforting huggies, i nid security, i nid trust..Mr Trust, where haf u been..argh~..

    chao~..

    ...beauty exposed ;