...Lost In Beauty...

Monday, April 30, 2007

i'm so careless to actually misread it..

wanted to go so much, but due to my carelessness..

now tt i cant go, i've to go elsewhere..

DARN..

tired of flying around..

tired of different GMTs..

but can i actually sacrifice if i stop work?..

so frustrated..

so many suggestions..

so many advises..

but i still cant make up my mind..

tho' i very much wish i nid not fly anymore..

i'm tired..

i wanna stay on-ground..

can i not fly anymore?..

i'm tired..

ARGHHHHHHHHH..

you called me in the morning..

i was surprised you called..

din expect you'd called..

and we chatted..

funny how we actually chatted lyk we used to..

but i'm glad you called..

i nid some moolahs..

i nid some energy..

i nid to take a break..

i'm tired..

so lethargic..

i wan my bens and jerrys..

boo hoo..

...beauty exposed ;

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

..Happy Birthday Ethan!..may all yr wishes come true!..

many happy returns to you!..

shopping alone in town is definitely sinful..tho' its kinda lonely, but still,

the perks of no one waiting, no one nagging, no one telling u to buy

or not to buy..thus, i shopped lyk mad..haha..

luckily, i got stopped in time..and i neva spend further..phew~~..

well, its been 2 weeks since bad stuffs happen..and i'm getting a hang of it..

and i hope you too..hope all things are well and fine for you..

soon, i'll take my stuffs back and return yours..tho' how badly i dun

wan to..but, i cant stop deceiving myself and gifing myself false

hopes tt you'll be back when you're long gone..

dempsey road is a definite nice place to chill wit wine..OOsh was great..

shall patron dere again yea~..tis time, more ppl..if not, i'll get red card..haha..

off to Narita tml evening, will be back on fri evening..time flies hor~..

dere goes my 4 off days..wheezzz pass lidat..

went ktv and i got emo when i sang a song..dunno y,tears jus suddenly came

BUT i fought back..i really fought back..i was wobbly in my singing at first,

but i fought back..sometimes, i wish you'll noe wad i'm feeling inside me..

i'll get betta..this i promise myself..

thanks to my buddies tt has been dere for me..i really appreciate it..

..i'm getting a hang of being lonely..

take care peeps, chao~!!..

p/s: i wan my bens and jerrys..boo~~~~..

...beauty exposed ;

Saturday, April 21, 2007

well, all these fotos jolly well tell u how happy i am when i landed myself into Amsterdam on Wednesday morning..hehe..arent they beautiful and lovely?..haha..look at the colors of the the flowers, so vibrant!..haha..i'm sooo glad i had the chance to go Amsterdam..neva in my life will i imagine myself in the land of Tulips..keke..i snapped alot 100 pixes of tulips..i jus couldnt resist not taking a pix of every tulip i see..hehe..oh well, i'm a happy girl..now tt i get to see my love, tulips!..keke..gosh, dun they look beautiful!!!..hahaha..

take care peeps, chao~!!..

...beauty exposed ;

Sunday, April 15, 2007

seasons change..

people change..

feelings change..

things haf come to a point whereby neither one wants it..

i guess dere's where fate ends..

tho' i'm falling apart but i'm doing my best to stand up

AGAIN..

tears, pain and hurt..

i'm doing my best to handle it..

to my loved ones..thankew..

nothing beats but noeing how much all of you care..

i'm doing my best..

its hard for me to let go something that means alot..

but i'm doing my best..

my beloved sista patsy: thankew for all u've said..

i noe i shld forget and forgive..i am doing it..

tho' the love is still lingering in my mind, my heart..

i am doing my best..

i can only do and hope for the betta and best..

will be off to amsterdam on tuesday..yes, a place tt's filled

wit tulips and daffodils..

my dream place of picturing tulips..

and oso, a place to lemme relax and haf serenity..

a place to lemme let go off all the sorrows..

creamtulips, here i come to see you!..

people say you're busy wit work..

people say you nid time..

people say you're stressed and pressured wit work..

people say to gif you time to settle your work..

all these..i'm gifing it to you..

you've gained back wad you've lost..

time wit yourself, your family, your fwenz..

i'm off now..from everything..

i am too silly to go all the way when all i felt was 'it was worth it'..

i am too emotional when it comes to you..

i'm sorry that i fell for you, so deep, so true..

so deep till i din noe wad i've done..

so true till i went all the way to salvage things..

but, your hurting words, your hurting ways,

yours hurting actions,

haf truly hurt me deep deep enuff..

i'm off now..from everything..

everything looks so dead now..

...beauty exposed ;

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

i'm a sucker..i can console ppl easily, advise ppl, but i cant get myself to stop thinking..i'm such a sucker..places i went, really reminds me of the past..thru yr days in army all the way to now..every pix in my room reminds of wad we shared before..all the smiles we captured, makes me think even more..cant bring myself to stop thinking, stop reminiscing..wad we had, we shared, we'd been through..

i'm not strong..i'm weak..i'd be lying if i say i dun love u anymore..i'd be deceiving myself if i say i dun think of you anymore..do we still belong to each other..

places, songs, roads, even to the very traffic lights where we used to haf fun..i cant stop myself..every vision appears in my mind..every smiles tt u planted on me, every laffters tt we shared, i cant stop..to the very beautiful pix we took at Beijing tt everyone envied the scenery we had on the background, to the very sweetest poems u've ever written to me, reminds me of wad we had..wad we shared..to the pixes tt we took and u developed, to put into our wallets..to every small little details tt u added to our album, our story..to the small little treasure hunt game tt u planted in my room to lemme find my pressie..to the box tt u did wit little socks tt states "little princess and little prince" on it..to everything tt u've done in my room..

even to the fixing of my ikea table, my wardrobe tt we both went to choose..everything had a part of u..to the signage on my bed "i'm the princess, that's why"..to the sticker tt u paste on it, wit "prince and princess" on it..even to the toiletries tt u put in my room, yr contact lenses, solutions..everything in my room has an inch of u..to the adidas watch tt u bot for me, u and fatz..to all the watches tt u bot for me..to my webcam, my creative speakers, my doggie poster on the wall, the bears tt u gave me..to everything tt u fixed for me in my room..

everything has YOU in it..

i cant stop myself from thinking..i cant stop myself from reminding..i cant act strong..i cant disguise myself..i cant wear my fake mask, pretending i'm alright..i breakdown whenever i step into my room..i think of you, i think of everything tt we had and shared..was it something i said? or was it something i din say?..izzit too late?..till u walk away jus lidat?..

i cant stop myself..i cant stop thinking..

...beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

sometimes when things dun go the right way, does one hang on or move on?..does one gif up or dun?..under wad kinda circumstances will one end a r/s?..work?ppl?character?personalites?common interests?chemistry?..dere's so many factors..why does one haf to hurt the other partner in order to end off a r/s?..if 2 are in love, arent these 2 suppose to handle it rationally and calmly?..talking things out, rather den screaming each other's heads off?..trusting one another, supporting one another no matter wad happens, its lyk 2 become 1..why cant all these be done?..when 1 change for the betta, why the nid to compare before and after?..isnt it gd tt its been changed for the betta rather den worse?..why burn the memories tt 2 has created?..why tear down every bricks of love 2 has created?..den why build in the beginning?..unfairness in this world..everyone is selfish..towards almost everything in life..but why be selfish to the one u love?..why be unfair to the one u've decided to put yr heart and soul in?..aint love between 2 suppose to be selfless, not aint abt individuals but for BOTH?..why measure how much love one gif?..aint love is something cant be measured?..given wit all yr heart, all yr sincerity, everything?..why measure?..how much can you measure?..a bottle?100ml?1000litres?..every girl do put their heart and soul in every r/s..for the love they haf to their partners..jus sometimes, one doesnt appreciate..or when one loses the other, den they start to treasure..life still has to move on no matter how ugly it turns out to be..time will still tick, days will pass by..no matter how many wish notes u put inside a bottle, you jus haf to move on..no point holding on to something tt doesnt respond anymore..rite?..but dere's this thing tt God created in girls is we're all emotional freaks..we gif everything to someone we love, we treasure..and when things turn ugly, we cry, we weep, we sob, we become sorrow, we feel as if the world tumbled on us, we cant move on, we cant accept, we cant forget..this is how girls is made..emotional freaks..but soon after, we feel tt actually, things is not as bad as wad it seems..initially, u do feel the downfall..but the love from family and fwenz, it sure will heal..in a r/s, definitely there'll be rough patches, and its up to the 2 to how to handle it..if 1 gifs up, the other cant..the other nids to be the strength, the pillar..but if 2 gifs up, might as well dun be together..if 1 can predict future, fortune tellers will be out of job..everyone can find their life partners easily and dere wun be any hurt or sufferings in this world..how wonderful tt can be..but too bad, we're born to learn sufferings, hurts, happiness, love, ups and downs in life..we're born to grow, to learn the facts of reality, to accept the facts of life..i've had enuff of love..

' i've done all that i can..thank myself for being a dumb ass to help so much and stuffs tt i've helped in, cant be witnessed and seen..utterly shattered and disappointed..'

...beauty exposed ;

Monday, April 09, 2007

.. the girls in Dubai Desert Tour

..the guys in Desert Tour..

..everyone in Desert Tour, Dubai..

..Crazy girls in Dubai..

..this sand buggy caused all the bruises on me..

...beauty exposed ;

Saturday, April 07, 2007

6 days to Dubai was GREAT!..i din expect it to be a holiday flight..haha..i had fun in desert sand dunes, riding the sand buggy up and down, falling down, eating the sand..whaha..its shiok!..

1st day, i had my chicken tikka meal and briyani..2nd day, i'm sick of it oredi..gosh..hehe..3rd day, damn jelat..haha..

anyway, i went for a desert tour..and it was a blast!..altho sand kept flying and i'm eating it tho..but its a good experience..the wonders of wind blowing and the different formations of the desert due to the wind..cool~~~..i had a hell ride thru the desert..but its FUN!..really fun..the suspension of the car is so gd sia..toyota, can buy!..haha..

rode the sand buggy..damn funny experience..i was accelerating and went up slope..when i came down slope, it was damn steep la..and i flew down sia..and my buggy topple..its so funny!!!..i fell sideways, causing bruises on my legs..whahaha..i kept laffing while pushing my buggy up..damn shiokkk!!!..2 of my colleagues oso had their incidents..1 was ram into a tree in a DESERT..haha, desert soooo big, can ram into tree..whahaha..another one was quite bad..the whole buggy went over her..and she had a bad abrasion on her feet..ouch~~..

had my dinner in the middle of the desert..quite cool, at least i wun eat sand tho'..keke..

anyway, its really a holiday flight sia..altho the weather was slightly hot, but i lyk!!!..keke..

i've so many bruises on my legs..its so ugly..i cant wear skirts..boo hoo..so ugly..

take care peeps, will post pixes up!..chao~!!!..

...beauty exposed ;