...Lost In Beauty...

Thursday, June 30, 2005

nYeah..neh neh neh neh neh~~...whoo~~..whEE!!!....yEAH!!..hUrrAY!!!..llALALalllaAlalaLa...

yupz yupz!..i'm super duper happy!..finally i've got my DESIRED answer..yesh!!!..

pondered whether i should call SIA for super long..prolong, wait, prolong, grit teeth, wait..FINALLY!!..i've decided to email the HR Executive..asked her if i am successful, if i'll start my training..and when the email came back....my god...my heart's pounding lyk crazy..closing my eyes, praying hard..open the email!..

"Dear Ms Koh,
We have just received your medical report yesterday. You will be starting your training on 13 July 2005. We will be sending you the details soon.
Regards, Sheryn"

HURRAY!!!!!!...i will be starting training nex mth!!..yes yes yes!!..i can go on pouncing here and dere..i'm soooo happy..YES!!..my dream!..i've reached my dream!..i've stepped onto my dream!!..WHEE~!!..i'm speechless for words now..i can hug anyone man..haha..haha..lalallalalala..my parents are so happy now..keke..yay!!!..let's haf a celebration, by the sea..saying OHhHHHhhHHHhhh...whee~~~!!!!!...*flying high....*

*baby, i did it!!!..my dream!!..i did it!!..i'm so happy..i wish u're here!!..whee~!!..i love you!!..thankew for not gifing up..muacks!!!..cant wait to see u!..*

...beauty exposed ;

Monday, June 27, 2005

dun read if u feel its mushy..its my blog, i write watever i wan..so beat it if u dun wanna read on!..

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..wHy..

why does love starts wit alot of happiness, and ends up wit tears and hurt..

why does love hafta be soo fragile..

why say all those stuffs when it doesnt mean anything at all..

why do ppl fall in love..

why does love sometimes haf to end the hard way..

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its super great to haf my baby back frm thailand..truly miss him lyk crazy..and so glad to see him back on thurs..seeing him standing in front of my door, i wanted to run to him and hug him but i was covered wit bandages..so, i cant..

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the way he holds my hand tightly, i noe he's in love wit me..

the way he protects & made sure no one will bang into me, i noe he cares alot for me..

the way he made sure i wouldnt catch cold during the hotel stay, warms my heart..

the way he sheltered me frm rain, comforts my heart..

the way he held me close, sets my mind at ease..

the way he hugs me, i noe i can rely on him..

the way he looks at me, i noe i'm in love wit him..

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he's someone i love and someone i cherish..he's someone who noes me and someone i nid not say

anything and he noes wad i wan..haha..sometimes, its jus soo amusing how he can read my mind witout me saying anything..sometimes, its freaky..keke..we both love the same things and dislyk the same things..coincidental?..i dunno..we haf our common lyks & dislyks..i sometimes wonder is God trying to place me in another play..or is God showing me the rite person in my life..

my character?..playful!!, goes out till late nites!!, loves freedom so much!!..BUT he fits perfectly well in my life..he's dere to slow me down, he's dere to pick me up when i fall..i dun haf anything to complain..

we both haf our flaws, but we jus love each other as much..though 5 yrs of fwenship was long but it turns out US getting together..is really amazing..after 5 yrs of fwenship..and we're back together..

i love this man in my life, and tho its still too early to say anything, i believe he'll show me my future..thank God for placing him in my life..i love him, my partner, my punching bag..keke..

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*i noe things are going the weird way..but i really treasure this relationship tt we haf..and i really do love you..pls dun say those stuffs to me and u dun mean it at all..i love you..*

...beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

man..life was lyk heaven last weekend..heh..yupz, u would haf probably read fat's bloggie..yea, its A hotel stay at Furama..well, looks antique on the outside but its PERFECT on the inside..checked in at 3pm, cuz yea..i WAS LATE CAN..haha..well, dere goes heaven..haha..

swimming, eating frog porridge, shopping, singing, madness, drinking, sleeping, miss our bfast..haha..aint tt life?..whee~..muz do this once in 6 mths yea..haha..budget budget..

my baby's coming back soon and i cant wait to see him!..i miss him soooo much since he's been gone for freaking 14 days..i miss him~!!!..keke..

monday monday..pain, tears, blades, syringes, injections..VERY PAIN..throughout the ordeal, i was really in pain..but it all went well..1st time, i was soo awake during the whole thing..man..painful..i teared abit..cuz of the pain la..and to think tt the doc had to change the needle abt 3 times cuz it wouldnt penetrate thru my flesh!!..freaked out man..i could see how bent the needle was..wa lau~..*faints*..guess wad?..they all looked lyk BACON sia~!!..haha..u noe, strips and strips of bacon..hahaha..jane saw and she went outside to sit..i think she wanted to vomit..hahaha..sorry babe..but they seriously look lyk BACON..haha..

went in at 4pm, came out at 530pm..glad to see my buddies and my mummy dere..teared abit but pat sayang me..and my baby's pillow made me feel betta..he called me during the ordeal, after the ordeal, BUT..i din pick up..alamakz..sadz..wanted to hear him..but its ok, he called me in the evening and heard his fwenz complain abt him to me..hahhaa..

his fwen said my baby talk to them machiam they owe him a million $$ and he had no appetite to eat..hmmmz..i miss my baby..keke..enuff enuff oredi ya..heh..

niwae, i'll be resting well..damn..feel as if i'm binding them..cant breathe properly..alamakz..but pls pray fer me..now its the crucial one whereby SIA has to accept me!!!..and i'm crossing my fingers real hard..PRAY FER ME!!!..i nid this terribly!!!..spend freaking 6K is not a small joke!..

but i'm feeling betta oredi..thankx babes, fer accompanying me..sorry to make u see my terrible bacons..hahaha..but really thanks alot..love you both..muacks muacks..

cant go swimming man..damn...damn..hmmz...no choice lo..haiz..off to read newspapers and rest now!..

*baby...i miss you!!..and i cant wait to see you..yea yea..*

*pat & janey..thanks sooooo much..enjoy ur trip k..janey, let things go on its own natural course..go and enjoy ur trip 1st k..pat, things are not as bad...u still haf us ok?..enjoy urself during the trip k..do take care of janey..will miss you both..muacks..*

*feng..ur tagboard lousy sia..tag oso nothing de..hehe..i talk to u, u no respond..of cuz hit u la..haha..no la, kidding..i see you cute ma..and sommore ur head in the helmet, cuter ma..keke..we best fwenz, u wun be so small gas de rite..hehe..*

...beauty exposed ;

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

my sis and i, we haf a love and hate relationship..when i was young, i owaes dislyk her becuz of the way she controls me..but i noe, its fer my own good..i used to be so controlled by her, she seems to be a second mum to me..until finally, i rebel against her..and tt's where i started embarking a journey of "no one to control" life..

laughters, sadness, hatred, arguements, very jialat quarrels, fights are super common among us..but still, i noe we love each other..sometimes, i find her unreasonable..sometimes i find her super irritating..sometimes talking to her will be no difference in talking to a wall..sometimes, i hate the way she b****es..but, i still love her..

i did things my way, she did things her way..many times, we dun even talk to each other when we're home!..i neva intro her to my fwenz, my bfs..some fwenz dislyk her, my ex bf dislyk her, my ex gf dislyk her..becuz of her attitude, her arrogance..but still, i love her..

dad owaes show favortism among us..she's oweas the doted one, as if my dad is a taxi driver, sending her, fetching her here and dere..but come to think of it, my dad does tt to me oso..neva were we close, neva did we confide problems together..even tho we used to be slping in the same room, we neva talk..now, separate rooms, even worse..i dun even see her often..she wake up, i'm slping..i wake up, she's slping or she's not home..but still, i love her..

i almost lost her when i was young..she got into an accident and it was very serious..thank God for saving her life, if not..i wouldnt haf a sis at all..she's owaes the one supporting my parents..with her monthly powerful income, she's able to support herself and my parents..she's neva the worried one in the family..she's independent, disciplined, has her way of thinking..tt's the way she is..but still, i love her..

neva did she wish me happy birthday or gif me bday presents..only present i receive is when i was 18, she gave me 20 bucks..tt's all..neva did i gif her any present when i noe she wouldnt gif me either..but still, i msg her and wish her..neva did we share things, wad we do is poach each other's stuffs..neva did she buys food, buys anything tt she sees its nice for siblings, she jus buys fer herself or sometimes, family..neva does she care for the animals we haf, charcoal and jumbo, she doesnt care at all..but i noe, she loves dogs..tho she pats the dogs wit her FEET..but still, i love her..

though i hate her so much, i still love her..she's helping me now wit my hospital problems..i noe she loves me..and she noes i love her..see, its a love and hate relationship..

hate the way she controls me, hate the way she sees ppl, hate the way she thinks, hate the way she b****es, hate the way she's so unreasonable, hate the way she's so arrogant, hate the way she's so "in her own world"..

BUT

i love her cuz she's my one and only sis..love her cuz she's someone i can look up to..love her cuz of her independence, her disciplinary..no matter how much hate i have fer her,

..i still love my sis..

*baby, i miss you badly.. :( ..argh~...wished u were here to hear my problems, to hear me out..sobs..*

...beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Y MUZ IT BE ME...Y MUZ IT BEFALL ONTO ME...Y DO I EVEN DESERVE THIS..I HATE MYSELF..I HATE MYSELF!!!!...WHY?..WHY?..WHY?!!!!..

I CANT TK IT ANYMORE..WHY..I'M FRUSTRATED ENUFF OREDI..Y MUZ YOU DIG IN MORE..WHY..YOU MAKE ME HATE MYSELF SO MUCH..WHY DO I DESERVE THIS..WHY..

...beauty exposed ;

Monday, June 13, 2005

love this lil' pup..she's sooo adorable..

...beauty exposed ;

aint she cute?...her paws are white and her tail, the end is white..so cute~..

...beauty exposed ;

see?..this little pup was saved by my bro..she had an accident and her thigh bone broke..going fer operation on tues..she's soooo adorable..

...beauty exposed ;

ling picking nose too~..whahhaa..no la..its not~..

...beauty exposed ;

she's picking her nose....whahhahahhaha...no la, she action nia la...keke..my buddy!!..

...beauty exposed ;

take 2..but dunno y ling lyk kana camo..heh..paiseh ling, but love you two!!..

...beauty exposed ;

me + ling + fat..at Indoor Stadium watching PCK Musical..fwee one lei..keke..

...beauty exposed ;

Sunday, June 12, 2005

PCK Musical was alrighty la..not say VERY funny but funny la..and quite lame and c**k ar..keke..well, since its free..naimind la hor..keke..took some pixes wit ling and fat..and it was funny...post it later..haven upload..loooks lyk taking pics while pretending to dig nose is cool..hahaha..after the musical, we went down to KFC to makan..and i was craving for KFC..until my robin-ge called me jus when i was abt to order and said he'll reach in 10 mins time...

huh~..i haven even makan and i was craving lei..haiz..bo bian lo..neva eat but kapo some frm fatz..so, i left ling, linda, kenny and fat at KFC..we went down to fetch pat frm home..toopid bernard wan to knock me down..heh..no la..cuz i was standing in the middle of the carpark, saw this Mercs tt look familiar, so stand in the middle somemore..toopid bernard sped up and pls lor..Mercs, QUITE FAST LOR..heh..chatted wit him awhile before me and pat left wit robin to Tanjong Pagar Railway Station..

hahahhaha..reminded me of the times when the 5 of us, (me + jack + robin-ge + pat + derek) took the train and headed to Malacca..loads of laughter, loads of fun, loads of wind..haha..fun..still remembered how i irritated robin-ge wit my "are we dere yet, are we dere yet.."..so funny..carefree, no stress..those WERE the times..all i can do is sit back and reminisce the times back den..hmmz..had our supper and headed down to Mount Faber..bet u guys din noe dere's a mini merlion dere and on the ground, u can see those translucent tiling and it'll tell u which direction u're heading is facing wad rite????..haf anot, dun haf rite?..dunno rite?..I NOE!..

yea, me and robin-ge were the sua-kus..pat on her powerful camera light and 3 of us were rounding the roundabout..how gong can we get..heh..i faced Little india, K.L, Manila, Bangkok, City, WTC, Zoo, Marina Bay, Bird Park, Haw Par Villa, Brunei, Indian Ocean...somemore la..cannot rem..we're lyk 3 idioooots walking ard where ppl were dere..my god..heh..someone else joined us and 4 of us again..alamakz..those 2 will neva change..hokkien language together wit the way they talk..funny and will be able to make u laff hard-heartedly..haha..left Mount Faber, sent pat home den me home..and those 2 went fer supper ba..not sure..

had a call frm baby..and i miss him terribly..wish he was ard..somemore it was a saT!!..heard his voice, he sounded tired..hope he's doing fine..i still haf 11 days more to go..argh~...i miss him...

nothing much to do this week but jus to slack..praying hard fer the job i really wan..argh~...hurry up, i cant wait!..hopefully, i'll be able to go thru the medical..damn..pray pray pray..

i dunno why, I HAF THE CLUBBING MOOD!!!!..

take care peeps..chao~!..

*i miss my baby..argh~...*

*janey, CAN WE GO TO THE ESCAPE THEMEPARK?????..CAN WE??*

...beauty exposed ;

Saturday, June 11, 2005

eh.....hahhaa...love you fatz..keke..

...beauty exposed ;

introducing my bestererest buddy, ah fat~..hahaha..

...beauty exposed ;

we're NOT picking our noses..but..wad we doing sia..i've nooo idea..crazy us..

...beauty exposed ;

i'm not picking my nose..its janey's finger~..

...beauty exposed ;

ok~..she's not cocked-eyed..tis's janey..love her too..keke..

...beauty exposed ;

1 of the jiemeis..ah pat~..love her..keke..

...beauty exposed ;

a day @ our usual place..CoFfeE CluB..every fri, you can see my jiemeis dere..wat's jane doing?..i wonder~..

...beauty exposed ;

Friday, June 10, 2005

SIA's interview WAS A SUCCESS..i passed the finale round~..BUT..something's bothering me..yupz, the medical checkup..wit my past records, i think its gonna be tough..here's why..

i had previous operations..and they nid report..but all my reports are wit changi..IF i produce a report, 50% of chance for SIA to accept me..IF i operate AGAIN, chances will be higher for SIA to accept..worse was, operation costs freaking 5K..so, my parents again..ONCE AGAIN, dad came up wit the $ willingly..mummy wan me to tk the risk and go for the operation, hoping SIA will accept me..dad too wan me to tk the risk..but its the freaking 5K..its too much..guess wad dad said?..

dad: " u call me in the morning, telling me the medical stuffs, i cant work properly and eat properly..naimind, so be it 5K..daddy gif u go operate..the $ can earn back, its ok..i dun wan u to blame daddy for not helping u..i'll support u all the way for this job..be happy ok?..dun sad sad oredi, daddy will help u..go operate..5K jiu 5K..its ok.. "

see~..i really wanted to tell daddy how much i love him..he's been super duper supportive..this is the 2nd time he is sacrificing so much for me..5K is really alot..but he jus gave it to me, wit no second thoughts..becuz of my job, my dearest daddy, wit his hardearned $$, jus sacrifice it for me..damn~..i felt so guilty..and was thinking of not going for the operation..but, wit his love, his support..how can i not go..i made a promise to myself tt if i get the job, i will repay him..i love my mummy, my daddy..becoz of me, they're willing to go to this extent..they've sacrificed a whole lot for me..i'm so touched tt i often tear when i speak of this matter..damn~..why do this kinda stuffs befall onto me..

even baby said he'll gimme the $ willingly if he has the ability..no second thoughts..baby was rite, he knew i'll be mang zang if i dun get thru..before he left for thailand, i asked him for his recommendations..he still recommend me to go operate..but if i din get thru, look on the bright side and dun think so much abt it..wats urs, will be urs..he knew i'll be very upset if i dun get thru..all he told me was to look on the bright side and be happy..

well, i've decided to go for the operation this mth..pray hard tt i'll be able to get thru this final round and continue my dream to be a stewardess..i really wanna be one..peeps, pray for me..i'll be very grateful..

my baby's left for thailand today morning at 0215am..and i'm missing him oredi..for 13 days, i wun be able to see him..waiting for him patiently to come back..sent him to airport today and was so unbearable to leave him..held on to my tears..damn, hate it when i part frm him..though he cant be wit me during the operation..i'll fight on and be brave.. *baby, i'm missing you so much oredi..*

i'm tired..i've cried enuff..i'm feeling down..i'm feeling low..do me a favor peeps, pls pray for me..i really wish i can get the job..argh~..i'm desperate for this job..i noe i'm gonna love it..

hmmz, SIA training will tk 3-4 mths, 18 mths probation, 5 yrs contract..oOoOo...long sia..by the time, i'll be aged 28..WA LAU~..well, we'll see how it goes..hopefully after the operation, they'll accept..

PRAY FOR ME~~!!!...pwease...

take care peeps, chao~!!..

*baby, i miss you..sobs..only 1st day..still haf 13 days to go..argh~...i miss your hugs..*

...beauty exposed ;

Monday, June 06, 2005

haiz..once a suay day, will be a suay day..super suay over the weekends..and here's why..

fRi: went ling's hse to swim..shioks manz..very long neva swim le..flapped my arms many times manz..haha..swim for an hour or so before heading to the changing room..happily bathing and den..*alamakz*..forget to bring plastic bag..<1st thing>..ling went back home to tk..*thanks ling*..after bathing, fat still bathing ma..den tt ling went to *ka-jiao* lo..put her finger underneath the lock..obviously fat will use her bull strength to pull rite?..yea, she did and guess wad?..ling's finger bled..<2nd thing>..argh~..deep cut into her index finger where the line was..oh man, blood on the floor somemore..and noe wad?..she din even say pain manz while washing the blood..ok, finger was under running water for abt 5 mins..before i asked fat to pack everything and head back to her home to stop the bleeding and to aid it..went up to her place, took out bandages and tapes..but she dun haf any medicine to apply..ah doi~..naimind lo, jus put it for awhile..when we decided to leave, fat forget to take her swimming costume..<3rd thing>..heng she got it back..went back home to change and head to bugis to shop awhile..yupz, Topshop clothes..we both bot the same but different color..haha..and noe wad?..we fit the Singapore Flag color manz..heh..bot our bikinis too..went to eat my fav. duck rice..yumz!..and searched for gownz..manz, difficult to find 1 when u nid 1..went to Raffles City and ended up in Robinsons..surprisingly the prices for the gownz are cheap..tried 2 and i love the blue one..but too bad, its big..alamakz..fat backside itchy and oso wanna try..and she took 2 pinks..keke..spent 45 mins in the changing room man, taking pix..haha..after tt, my baby's sick..<4th thing>..he had fever..went to his hse to look for him..only to find out he went out to PLAY SOCCER!!..fat went home denz..stayed over at baby's place..

sAt: woke up early, headed to Beach Road to get his stuffs..(he's going thailand this fri..)..bot the stuffs, headed back home to change..late to mit my galfwenz, took a cabbie down..Wild Wild Wet was fun & hot!..whoo~..had my tan manz..soaked water, played all the rides, soaked water again, play all the rides..haha..we're dere to support Adrian for his SUmmer HunK contest..whoo~..the 2 twins were hhhhhOOOOtttt....heh..i prefer the older brother..younger jus act cute all over...*puke*..haha..play until ard late noon, decided to leave..changed, bathed, went off..until i reach home, realized in din tk my clothes..<5th thing>..SUAY!!..neva tk!!!..i lost my bikini and my shorts...SUPER SUAY!!..and my operation side is so painful tt i cried..i dunno y it was soooo painful..unbearable, i cried..argh~..had my pizza and drumlets, yum yum..look at the clock..2150pm.."EH!!!..WE'RE MEETING THEM AT 2200pm AT TANJONG PAGAR!!!"..yupz, i told baby this..manz, we're late!!..rush to his hse, he changed "fast", his san-jie send us down to Eski..man, Eski was crowded but the place was gooood..cool manz, but u wun feel the cold until u stay in dere for quite sometime..as we had a big group, (janey + bernard + adrian + michelle + shimin + ferlin + chewling + fat + me + baby), we decided to head to SoundBar..well, din expect it to be jazzy..my fwenz wanted to check out Dbl 0..so, i left the other grp and went to Dbl 0..decided to go Dbl 0 la, cuz music was to our preference..hmmz, 0 Bar was good..music was good..but drinks?..nah..wasnt..5% alcohol, man!!..but we all danced..yea, we did..hehe..we danced to the music till abt 2am plus, we left..baby met up wit his fwen too..hmmz..took a cabbie, back to his place..man, i was tired till i slept on the floor and he had to carry me up..hah..

sUn: woke up in the noon, and slacked all the way at his place..till he wanted to book in at 7 plus..well, no suay things happened but over fri and sat, manz...suay..argh~..his dad send him to his camp while dad came to fetch me..had dinner at Roti Prata Place, and went home to slack..tired, pain..did my exercises, lie on my bed..chatted wit baby till quite late..yawnz..

well peeps, a Suay Day will owaes be a Suay Day..i've learnt my lesson well and hard...DAMN ME!!!..ARGH!!..was super pissed wit myself..oh well, tml will be a betta day..my SIA day..yupz, will try my best best..enjoy the holidays peeps..heh..

take care, chao~!!..

*ling, hope ur finger's fine liaoz..heart pain for u..swim again ya..heh..*

*fer, naimind la..its ok, my fwenz will understand..niwae, only the couple i noe well, the rest..not so lei..haha..i guess its ok de la..no worries k..nex time ya..*

*fat, thank God u neva ah-choo..haaa..but u enjoyed rite?..yea, dancing manz..haha..nex time again ya..*

*baby, hope u enjoyed urself..i noe i was cranky..i'm sorry..but luckily, u were dere..if not, i dunno wat u'll do..thankew baby..i love you millions..muacks..*

...beauty exposed ;

Friday, June 03, 2005

received a surprised email this morning by my baby..hmmz, BOOK OUT LE OSO NEVA SAY!!!!...HMPH!!!..keke..muacks~..which means, i'll see you soon ya..heh..today, my plans as usual ar..coffee at the usual place..hor..hee..

speaking of him, sobs sobs..he's leaving fer thailand nex week le <9th>.. :( ..my weekends cannot spend wit him cuz he'll be in thailand fer 2 whole weeks!!..ahhhhh...jiu ming ar....gonna miss him loads, somemore no more auto-roaming..ahhhh..

*i will miss you very very much..2 weeks..14 days..argh~..*

niwae, fat's off day..and we've decided to go ling's hse to swim and tan..yupz yupz, ling hse..heh..after tt, fat and i will head to bugis to buy our stuffs..will be super broke this weekend..haha..activities coming up..whoo~..

fri a.k.a today: swimming @ ling's hse, itsy-bitsy of shopping, coffee @ usual place, can see my baby!!..heh..

sat: WILD WILD WET!!!!..whee~..wit my baby + pat + janey + bernard..keke.., heading to eski bar , still can see my baby!!..hah..

sun: no plans..heh..but..see my baby!!..tt's good enuff..if not, nex week cannot spend time wit him le.. :(

well, so many activities lining up!..i cant wait!..but will be super broke..still owe singtel tt tooopid $..argh~..i nid $$ manz..heh..

take care peeps~..chao~!!..

*baby, betta take good care of urself thru-out tt 14 days k..i'll send u off on 9th june..dun care even tho its 2am..i jus wan to see you off..i will take care of myself de..dun worry..i'll see you in 14 days time..but for now, i will spend time wit u till the fullelelest..hehe..see you soon baby..muacks..love you..*

...beauty exposed ;