<body> ...Lost In Beauty...
...she's Beautiful...

.::.sILiN.::.sHaYnE.::
.::.bIaTcH.::.bUmMeR.::.

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::.a tRip tO hOkKaiDO!.::
::.fAmIly's sAfEtY & hEAlTh.::
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    ...beauty spits...



    Wednesday, June 15, 2005


    my sis and i, we haf a love and hate relationship..when i was young, i owaes dislyk her becuz of the way she controls me..but i noe, its fer my own good..i used to be so controlled by her, she seems to be a second mum to me..until finally, i rebel against her..and tt's where i started embarking a journey of "no one to control" life..

    laughters, sadness, hatred, arguements, very jialat quarrels, fights are super common among us..but still, i noe we love each other..sometimes, i find her unreasonable..sometimes i find her super irritating..sometimes talking to her will be no difference in talking to a wall..sometimes, i hate the way she b****es..but, i still love her..

    i did things my way, she did things her way..many times, we dun even talk to each other when we're home!..i neva intro her to my fwenz, my bfs..some fwenz dislyk her, my ex bf dislyk her, my ex gf dislyk her..becuz of her attitude, her arrogance..but still, i love her..

    dad owaes show favortism among us..she's oweas the doted one, as if my dad is a taxi driver, sending her, fetching her here and dere..but come to think of it, my dad does tt to me oso..neva were we close, neva did we confide problems together..even tho we used to be slping in the same room, we neva talk..now, separate rooms, even worse..i dun even see her often..she wake up, i'm slping..i wake up, she's slping or she's not home..but still, i love her..

    i almost lost her when i was young..she got into an accident and it was very serious..thank God for saving her life, if not..i wouldnt haf a sis at all..she's owaes the one supporting my parents..with her monthly powerful income, she's able to support herself and my parents..she's neva the worried one in the family..she's independent, disciplined, has her way of thinking..tt's the way she is..but still, i love her..

    neva did she wish me happy birthday or gif me bday presents..only present i receive is when i was 18, she gave me 20 bucks..tt's all..neva did i gif her any present when i noe she wouldnt gif me either..but still, i msg her and wish her..neva did we share things, wad we do is poach each other's stuffs..neva did she buys food, buys anything tt she sees its nice for siblings, she jus buys fer herself or sometimes, family..neva does she care for the animals we haf, charcoal and jumbo, she doesnt care at all..but i noe, she loves dogs..tho she pats the dogs wit her FEET..but still, i love her..

    though i hate her so much, i still love her..she's helping me now wit my hospital problems..i noe she loves me..and she noes i love her..see, its a love and hate relationship..

    hate the way she controls me, hate the way she sees ppl, hate the way she thinks, hate the way she b****es, hate the way she's so unreasonable, hate the way she's so arrogant, hate the way she's so "in her own world"..

    BUT
    i love her cuz she's my one and only sis..love her cuz she's someone i can look up to..love her cuz of her independence, her disciplinary..no matter how much hate i have fer her,
    ..i still love my sis..
    *baby, i miss you badly.. :( ..argh~...wished u were here to hear my problems, to hear me out..sobs..*

    ...beauty exposed ;