<body> ...Lost In Beauty...
...she's Beautiful...

.::.sILiN.::.sHaYnE.::
.::.bIaTcH.::.bUmMeR.::.

...beauty wishes...

::.a tRip tO hOkKaiDO!.::
::.fAmIly's sAfEtY & hEAlTh.::
::.my dEsiReD cAr --> SJK 403U.::
::.cArTiEr SaNtOs 100 wAtCh.::
::.tIfFaNy & Co nEcKlAcE.::
::.LV cOlLeCtiOnS.::

...my peeps...

.::.fAtz.::.
 .::.pAtsY.::.
 .::.jAnEy.::.
.::.aMaNdA jIe.::.
.::.lInGz.::.
.::.fErLiN.::.
.::.sHeRiNa.::.
.::.GeNeVieVE.::.
.::.R-wErKs.::.
.::.mAuReEn.::.
.::.fELiX.::.
.::.tHiNi.::.

...herstories...

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    •
    ...now playing...

    ...beauty spits...



    Wednesday, May 17, 2006


    haven been updating..as i'm lazy and tired..yes, frm flights, frm things happening ard me..finally, the day has come..and i'm up to a dead end..

    wad a long story to say..but i'll jus cut it short..

    loving 2 person in my life, is not wad i wan..i wanna be truthful and faithful..but, i jus dunno wad i'm doing, letting 2 person falling in love wit me..i'm an arse to love these 2 person in my life..its not tt i dun wanna make a choice, i wish i can..so many things in my mind, to the brim..suffocating and pressured..no matter how much time i haf, the choice jus doesnt seem to float out..i wanna disappear..i wish i nid not choose..

    jus lyk wad this song is saying..i cant find any direction..the way to rainbow..i cant find..its all up to me but i jus cant find any direction, any path..dun lay any direction for me..i dun wan..dun make any decision for me, i dun wan..dun make any plans for me, i dun deserve it..i cant even find my happy, cheerful self again..everyday, problems jus pile up and i jus dunno how to clear it up.."stop running..face it...solve it"...its easy for u to say, its HARD for me to do..

    i'm in such a lost..everything to me seems dead..i cant make myself laff madly anymore..i'm jus putting on a fake happy mask..everything seems so regimental..heading to work, stepping in a new country, coming back home, spending time wit love and family, heading back to work again, stepping into a new country again........and it goes on..........i cant enjoy myself..even the invitations to mambo, i dun even haf the "yay" feeling to go..i jus noe, i wun be enjoying myself..

    i've fallen..and i've no energy to get up..i jus wanna stay lying down dead..

    even my baby's blog has pronounced dead..and i'm so upset in myself tt i've caused such unhappiness in his life..reading back his blog, i teared badly..
    i noe darling, u've been showering me wit yr cares, concerns and everything u can shower me..i really can feel it..and i love everything of it..

    disappearing is not wad i owaes do..if i do, pls dun worry..i'm jus finding my happy self back again..

    ~cant find any direction, to rainbow paradise..~

    ...beauty exposed ;